Tuesday, March 31, 2009

HEXED: The Paul Pope Cover


by M A N

I really don't like to pimp my own work here at KFM, but this is just too cool not to share. My 4 issue mini-series HEXED is going to be collected into a hardcover edition with the above image on the cover. An image by Paul Pope. Yes, THAT Paul Pope (click image to embiggen).

I've been doing my little geeky dance all morning over this.

If you haven't had a chance to read it yet, Myspace Comics has been posting the full issues on their site as well as making them available for download. For free. That way you can check it out first to see if it's something you want to buy (which it is). If your LCS doesn't carry it, head to the BOOM! website where you can order it online (along with other great comics written by John and Mark, including Mark's new series Irredeemable). You can catch the HEXED issues here:

Issue #1
Issue #2
Issue #3
Issue #4 (hits shelves on April 15th)

Also, I'll be in Seattle this weekend for the Emerald City Comicon. If you're there and want to stop by and say hi, you can find me at the BOOM! booth, #406.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Guitar Friday: Phoning it in.

by M A N

Sadly, time is not my friend, so not much in the way of Guitar Friday this week. However, I at least wanted to share this image of the Jay Turser Shark Guitar as a gesture of solidarity with Beth Riesgraf and her "Sharker" concept.

If, like me, you believe that "Sharker" is made of undiluted WIN, then show Beth your support by posting images or links to things that look like, but in fact are not, sharks in the comments.

Consider this an open thread to get your weekend started.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Writing: 360 Degree Character Reviews

Occasionally, LEVERAGE writer Albert Kim will regale us with stories of the horrible traditions and kabuki of his previous corporate life. He recently explained the idea of the 360 degree job review. You are reviewed by:

1.) Your bosses
2.) Your peers
3.) Your underlings.

I started doing this as a way to develop characters, and I have to admit I kind of dig it. How does Indiana Jones's boss at the university feel about him? Other archeologists? His students? How about the bad guys? "Major Arnold Toht is the best commandant I've ever had. He never sends us into dangerous situations without also taking the same risk. He is very organized and makes sure we have the tools and resources necessary to serve the Fuhrer. We always go to interesting places, and he really encourages individual initiative. His determination is an inspiration to us all ..."

More fun is a recent bit of development I've been doing for villains and heroes -- flip them. Take a page and write about the villain as if he's the protagonist. I don't mean the anti-hero protagonist, I mean the "I admire this character and want to see him succeed"protagonist. Doing this with even minor characters can open up new interactions. What this does is force you to come up with virtues for your bad guy, even invent some -- otherwise, he's not a hero, is he? (I recently psyched myself out of using a character as a villain, because I wound up becoming too invested in his non-villainous personal life.).

Years ago another writer taught me a simple exercise -- describe a character, hero or villain, as his best friend would describe him while setting up a blind date. Then do it from the point of view of the co-worker who hates his guts and is unloading to his wife after work, or finally has a chance to sink him with a job recommendation.

All these things take advantage of the fact that we understand the world around us through narrative. We already create heroes and villains, shade them, set them against ourselves and each other in our own lives. We already have a storytelling vocabulary. We just need to understand it's as valid as a formally defined system.

Waid Wednesdays #16: The Dictionary Is Wrong

Writing this one on the plane from La Guardia to LAX, so it may or not be posted by Wednesday depending upon how late the flight gets in.

In 1990, having recently departed my editorial position at DC Comics, I went to work for Archie Comics in Mamaroneck, NY as an assistant editor/proofreader/colorist/cover gag editor/researcher/monkey. And I would be lying to you if I said that I didn’t believe it, at the time, to be a step down. How had I gone from editing BATMAN: GOTHAM BY GASLIGHT to checking to make sure Betty’s hair was the right color yellow on every page of PALS & GALS? Was it only yesterday that I was helping proofread THE KILLING JOKE?

Dumb attitude. First off, the people were all terrific. Okay, the two gentlemen who who owned the joint and who were as close as brothers right down to owning identical cars and yachts, were [NOTE: OPINIONS EXPRESSED ON THIS BLOG DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THE OPINIONS OF BOOM STUDIOS, JUST SAYIN’] erratic tyrants with hair-trigger tempers who would have sued an old lady out of her dentures if they’d only had the time to spare...but the managing editor, Victor Gorelick, was a patient guy who knows where more bodies are buried than most anyone else in comics, and he was always encouraging me to all the crafts involved in making comics. Most importantly, he set me up to learn a critically important lesson in storytelling.

In case you haven’t looked at an Archie comic book since about 1952, trust me, there hasn’t been much innovation. As it was for your parents’ parents, most every story remains between five and seven pages, with no more than six panels a page and generally only three on the first page (to allow room for titles and, when the Archie execs choose to run them, credits). Big, simple lettering and big, simple balloons accompanying big, simple art. This is not the format in which to attempt WATCHMEN.

I asked Victor for a shot at writing a story and, once we found a pitch he liked, he set me loose. I’d come to him with the idea that Riverdale High was searching desperately for a new assistant coach, and by far the most qualified candidate was a female basketball star who’d been confined to a wheelchair by an accident. The conflict in the story is from loudmouth Reggie, to whom it must be proved that a “girl in a wheelchair” can teach him anything about basketball. The new coach, of course, eventually gets Reggie past his “handicap,” as she puts it--his ego, which compromises the team. Hardly Dostoyevsky, but consider my target audience.

Anyway, I had six pages. About 28, 30 panels. And it took me longer to write the first half of that script than it has anything else to this day, because by the time you set up the problem (“We need a new coach!”), show how desperate the staff gets once the first few candidates prove unsatisfactory, ramp up the tension, and introduce the woman in the wheelchair, you’re already on page three. Of six.

And while the resultant solution (and lesson) is no doubt obvious to the experienced among you, it was only when I sweated my way into it that I realized one of the most fundamental rules of comics storytelling: start the story as late as possible. I didn’t need an extensive setup. I didn’t need scenes of tryouts or debates. What I needed was this:

PANEL ONE: Exterior, Principal Weatherbee’s office. Weatherbee and Coach Kleats, peeking out his door towards a group of ill-suited coaching candidates awaiting an interview, are visibly worried.

KLEATS: So, Waldo...how many of them do you think could do even one chin-up?

WEATHERBEE: Out of THESE applicants? One BETWEEN them...maybe...

PANEL TWO: Bee’s assistant sticks her head into the office.

KLEATS: I wish Coach Clayton were back from his seminar! He’d know where to find a gym coach!

ASSISTANT: Next interview, Mr. Weatherbee!

PANEL THREE: ROBIN GANTNER, an athletic woman in a wheelchair, enters the room, big smile on her face.

ASSISTANT: Her name is...

GANTNER: ROBIN GANTNER, Mr. Weatherbee! If you’re looking for a girls’ gym teacher...then I’m your woman!

I repeat: hardly Eisner Award-winning material, but efficient. I wrote a handful of additional Archie stories that year, each one easier to wrestle into submission than the last. I kept each premise increasingly simpler, started each scene as late as I could at ended it as quickly as possible. Dialogue was trimmed to the bone without losing the funny. And that training served me better than any other I’ve ever gotten. It’s easy to write long; it’s a bitch to write short. It was a terrific workshop. It would have lasted longer except one of the owners, livid, stormed into the bullpen one afternoon demanding to know who’d changed a word in a classified ad they were placing. I took the heat calmly, certain that he’d simmer down once I explained that I’d made the fix to correct a misspelling. He looked skeptical, so I cheerfully showed him the right spelling in the dictionary, ready to put his mind at ease. Instead, he screwed up his face in unbridled rage, slammed the book shut, and screamed, “THE DICTIONARY IS WRONG!” I ended the scene as quickly as I could by immediately turning in my keys and peeling out of the parking lot, never to return. It was a memorable ending. Not a beat was wasted.



Edited to eliminate the in-air brainslip of IDing the owners as brothers. They weren't, really, but we always thought of them as such.

Edited AGAIN to fix a typo that put Mamaroneck in NJ and not NY. Apologies to both states.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

What if Leverage Were a Sitcom

Good Lord, I love the internets.

In Answer To the E-Mails.

Of course I'm really drinking in that video. How could I pass up an excuse for Bushmill's in the morning?

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Cocktail Party Physics

Female science writers range far and wide, distilling some pretty heady stuff down into charming, readable explanations and discussion. Kind of my new favorite discovery. Don't miss the physics-themed cocktails. Going in the sidebar toute de suite.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Guitar Fridays: Gibson ES-335











































by M A N

There are hundreds, perhaps thousands, of guitar designs in the world. But of all of them, from your run of the mill Strat copies to Prince's rare and unusual "Sign" guitar, the Gibson ES-335 is my favorite.

The 335 was designed to help reduce the feedback that was common in Gibson's larger hollow body guitars. Though it still maintains that delicious womanly hour glass shape of the hollow body models, the depth of the 335 is much shallower (known as a semi-hollow body). As you you can see in the image, there are two F holes (much like a violin) that show the hollow inside of the guitar body. This helps shape its distinctive sound.

It has a maple body with a set* mahongany neck and rosewood fingerboard. Most 335s have a fixed bridge though it isn't uncommon to see one with a Bigsby tremolo system. The Bigsby trem is the spongy predecessor to the "whammy bar" and is used to add vibrato (personally, I'm not a big fan of the Bigsby but there are many players who love it). The two humbucker pickups help give it the range it needs to go from thick, weeping solos to crunchy rhythm instantly.

What I love so much about this guitar is it's versatility. The 335 is just as comfortable on stage with smooth jazz players like Larry Carlton to throw down rockers like Dave Grohl. This guitar can do it all. Just take a look.

Going Home -- Ten Years After with Alvin Lee, live at Woodstock

All My Life -- Foo Fighters Dave Grohl is using his own custom 335 (the DG-335) in this clip. Just listen to how BIG that axe sounds! You can hunt buffalo with this guitar!

Room 335 -- Larry Carlton (Mr. 335 himself) and Steve Lukather I can't recommend their album "No Substitutions: Live in Osaka " enough.

Sweet Sixteen -- B.B. King playing the most famous 335 of all, Lucille. This particular performance has a lot of cultural significance as it was part of the concert that took place in Africa celebrating the "Rumble in the Jungle" fight between Ali and Foreman. B.B. at his best, indeed.

As a little bonus, here's B.B. live at Sing Sing prison in 1972. Yeah, that's the blues.


* There are a few ways of attaching the guitar neck to the body. A "Set" neck means it's attached to the body via a dovetail joint and adhesive. "Bolt on" means it attached with heavy screws. "Neck thru" means the single piece of wood that makes the neck extends thru the body of the guitar.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Ephemera 2009 (7)

-- Better Off Ted handily fills my entertainment requirements for 22 minutes. Good geek comedy.

-- (Sawyer thinks) >> (Jack reacts). Somebody's being very meta over at Lost. Much to my approval.

-- In just two days, the file-syncing software Dropbox has revolutionized my workflow. Dead easy to use, great interface, solid tutorials and guides. I love it.

-- For what it's worth, I cannot believe I just used the word "workflow."

-- Despite my unhealthy love of my Kindle, I recently spent lunch in a used bookstore Chris Downey found near work, and bought a couple vintage 1948 hardcover mysteries. Not much on style, but man those bastards could plot.

-- It turns out there IS a maximum number of pages you can type per day. Ow.

-- I rarely do follow-ups on the mini-posts, but I've mentioned the Lovecraftian police procedural The Translated Man (also available on Kindle) before, and it deserves more than that glancing blow. There was a day reading this that I wanted to be able to read faster, because I wanted it in my brain faster. Blind sonar-using forensic maidens! Teen sidekicks practicing forbidden geometries! A skin disease that turns you invisible! Foppish gentlemen detectives dual-wielding pistols! A frank discussion of the shortcomings of adding a third leg to your shuffling undead behemoth! The heroes fight frikkin' science crimes. I WANT TO GO TO THERE.

-- Setting aside my innate fondness for Wil Wheaton, his series of posts about DM-ing a game of Dungeons & Dragons for his son and his friends pleases me to no end. They are, in the end, about a father sitting down at a kitchen table, for hours, teaching and telling stories with his son.

-- The news that there is now a retractable version of the Uniball Vision pen matters to no one ... except those few of us to whom it matters more than our mother's love.

-- There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Waid Wednesdays #15: What Matters

There used to be a Triangle Rule in comics. I first heard it from one of my mentors, the brilliant writer/cartoonist William Messner-Loebs. I've repeated it many times since, and God only knows who first articulated it, but it supposed this:

There were three qualifications for making good in comics--talent, personality, and the ability to hit a deadline. That was your triangle. The theory was that very few comics professionals were gifted with all three of these super-powers, but as long as s/he possessed any two of these traits, steady work was all but a lock. If you were insanely talented and likeable, you could probably skate by for a while on the punctuality hurdle; there was a point where Neil Gaiman was so overwhelmed that he was faxing Sandman scripts in one page at a time, which he could get away with 'cause he was Neil Gaiman. Likewise, comics was crammed to the rafters with C-level-talent drinking buddies who were unbelievably reliable about getting their scripts or art in on time, and clockwork geniuses who had the social skills of a filing cabinet, and they all got by--maybe not on the A-list assignments, but they put food on their table.

Before you whoop up and down that you've just snagged a career because you're two for three--you're always punctual and your friends tell you you're a hoot--I warn you that the 21st Century has not been kind to the Triangle Rule. First off, FTPs and e-mail have become such a part of the work-delivery process that human interaction and visits to the office to get face-time with your editor are rarer than ever, so your winning personality counts less. Secondly, yes, we're still in the periodical business--even with one-off graphic novels, someone somewhere is depending on you to make an eventual deadline, even if it's just your landlord--so missing a deadline is never, ever cool, but so long as you stay in contact with your editor and keep the lines of communication open rather than ignore phone calls or e-mails, you can probably work something out. (Just remember, it is a thousand times more forgiveable to blow a deadline if you alert the editor ahead of time that you're having trouble than it is to drop off the radar and leave the editor hanging.)

But most importantly, there are very few places in comics these days to build your career and quietly hone your skills, so it's not enough to be talented. You have to be talented right now, out of the gate. Part of that's because a bunch of jerks like Grant Morrison, Darwyn Cooke and Ed Brubaker went and drastically raised the bar on the definition of the word "talented." Part of that's because readers expect way more from a comic that costs twice what it cost six years ago. Part of that is because, chances are, your work will be collected in a trade paperback that will stay in print a long, long time. And part of that is because there now are far, far more comics reviews sites online than there are people who actually love comics and are not willing to snark your reputation to a bloody pulp just because snark is easier to write than actual criticism.

Wait, it gets worse. You have to be talented right now, and you have to sustain that talent. Not only is competition for the gig is at an all-time high, but the economy isn't exactly encouraging readers to be patient with comics they might grow to love. Sorry to add to the pressure, but one or two bad jobs can take a fast toll on your career.

Mark Waid the BOOM! Editor-In-Chief just wrote 400 words on how meeting deadlines was your most important reputation-builder, and he wants to scream bloody murder at Mark Waid the Freelancer for throwing them out in lieu of what I'm about to say--because no one else says it, ever--but while you don't want to be a prima donna with your attitude and you don't want to get fired for never delivering on time, the God's honest truth is that, in the long run, the quality of your work is all that matters.

Long, long ago, when I was a Boy Editor at DC, I once asked my boss, Dick Giordano, about what it was like to work with Neal Adams, who he'd long been partners with and who had a legendary reputation (earned or not) for never, ever, ever, ever meeting a deadline. "Didn't editors lose their minds when Neal would do his disappearing act?", I asked. Dick just chuckled and said, "Yes. Yes, they did. And they'd be furious with him, and they'd swear never to hire him again. But six months later, they wouldn't remember how late his work was. All they'd remember was how good it was."

This was, frankly, kind of a dangerously stupid thing to tell an impressionable young editor working in the periodical business...but (a) Dick's gift for candor was one of the qualities that made him the best and most valuable mentor I ever had, and (b) he was right. And he's just gotten more right in the intervening two decades. I cannot name names without embarrassing them, but I can just off the top of my head think of at least a dozen freelancers who hit every deadline ever asked of them, even if that deadline was changed on them without fair warning... who were pleasant to work with and always professional even if their editor was a jerk...and who always did exactly what their editors asked them to do, even if it was obvious to a blind man that the quality of the finished work was lessened, because they were trained to believe that their first priority was to serve their editor and do so in a timely manner.

All of those people have been unemployed for years.

In the long run, the quality of your work is all that matters. That is your only resumé. Be professional. Make sure your editor or publisher can always reach you. Do what's asked of you if your conscience can bear it. But know that, five years from now, as fans or prospective employers are looking over your published pages, no one will care that this story sucks because the publisher moved the deadline up or because the editor made you work an android cow into the story. All they will care about is what they see in front of them, and they will hold you responsible for it, no one else.

Don't be defiant. Don't be difficult. But the Triangle Rule no longer holds, so most of all, don't think that if you simply jump through enough hoops and fetch enough drinks, that'll still buy you a career. Be good at this above all else. Stand up for your work, and never, ever let anything get in the way of you doing your very best. You may end up crossing swords with an editor and leave him or her thinking you're difficult or unhireable. That editor may even be me. But if you never listen to another thing I ever say, listen to this: the Career Graveyard is fence-to-fence full and three deep with freelancers who believed that making a positive impression with their editors was more important than making a permanent impression with their work.

******
End of lecture. A couple of other bits of business:

(1) If you like what's said here, I refer you to my daily blog over at markwaid.com, where these essays (reposted a day or two later) are accompanied with podcasts, videoblogging, and other various bits of commentary. Come for the funny pictures, stay for the sense of moral outrage.

(2) I'm all over the comics shops in the next few weeks if you're inclined to pick up one of my books to see if I'm really even remotely qualified to pen how-to's like these. Potter's Field: Stone Cold (a detective story with artist Paul Azaceta) hits today; The Incredibles #1 (with art by Marcio Takara) hits next Wednesday; and Irredeemable #1 (with artist Pete Krause), the story of how the world's greatest superhero became the world's greatest supervillain, debuts two weeks from today. There'll be more coming. You can get 'em at your favorite comics shop or order them directly from BOOM! Studios.

Monday, March 16, 2009

SciFi Changes Its Name to "SyFy"

From Television Week:

“The name Sci Fi has been associated with geeks and dysfunctional, antisocial boys in their basements with video games and stuff like that, as opposed to the general public and the female audience in particular,” said TV historian Tim Brooks, who helped launch Sci Fi Channel when he worked at USA Network.

Mr. Brooks said that when people who say they don’t like science fiction enjoy a film like “Star Wars,” they don’t think it’s science fiction; they think it’s a good movie.

“We spent a lot of time in the ’90s trying to distance the network from science fiction, which is largely why it’s called Sci Fi,” Mr. Brooks said. “It’s somewhat cooler and better than the name ‘Science Fiction.’ But even the name Sci Fi is limiting.”

Mr. Howe said going to Syfy will make a difference.


"You know, as a 35 year old woman, I wasn't going to watch SS DOOMTROOPER because it was on that icky SciFi network. But now that it's on SyFy, I think something called SS DOOMTROOPER might be something I'd enjoy, and I should give it a try."

The new logline is "Imagine Greater." Which is syntactically equivalent to "Make-believe good-er."

The sad thing is that when their ratings continue to climb -- as SciFi is mainstreamed more and more, and more people seek it out on the television in the one place it is reliably presented -- they will believe it's due to this marketing campaign, rather than a larger generational and cultural shift. And the inability of people in suits to understand that correlation does not imply causation will go uncorrected yet again.

The temptation to type something that would effectively end my career with this network is well-nigh overwhelming. But this is the new, non-dickish John Rogers, and I will simply note that I have no control over what you say in the Comments.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Your Weekend's Entertainment

You could go see the rape/torture fantasy Last House on the Left -- which completely misses the point of the original's social context - and cackle while a piece of your soul dies. Or you could see the excellent Sunshine Cleaning, enjoy a very fine movie written by a woman, directed by a woman, and staring two female actors who turn in stellar, honest performances -- and feel a little better about the world.

But hey, your choice.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Guitar Friday: The Power Chord!

by M A N

You've all heard it before. The kraaaang, the crunch, the chug-a-chug. It's the two (sometimes three*) note chord that has laid the foundation of music from Chuck Berry to Kelly Clarkson to Disturbed. And if any of you have ever tried to play the guitar, it is also one of the first things you ever learn.

***Beware. Miniscule amounts of music theory ahead.***

So what is a power chord? At it's most basic, it is simply two notes: the Root note and the Fifth. That's it. That's all it takes to rock out. If you're unfamiliar with those terms, don't panic. It really is easy to figure out. Let's say you want to play a C power chord. Well then, your root note is C. Pretty easy, huh? But a single note does not make a chord (there are those who would argue that neither do two notes, but we'll ignore them for now). So what do we do? We add the Fifth (so named by being the fifth note in the scale--see how easy this is?). In this case, it's a G. Together, the two notes make a power chord.

But let's face it. Being able to recite the circle of fifths won't get you the groupies. So let's put the theory aside and focus on the physical aspect of playing the chord so that we can get down to it. All you need are two fingers, one for each note. Then just place them on the fretboard like so:



Notice something? That's right. The shape your fingers make stays the same. All you need to do is just move them to the position you want. In five minutes, you can be playing complete songs, even if you've never played before. I've known players who never even bothered to learn anything else because of the vast library of music power chords allow you to play. They're easy, versatile, and sound great.

Now, the reason it's called a "power" chord is because it sounds best when the guitar is distorted in some way. There are country, blues, and even the very rare jazz song that use power chords, but they are most common in rock because, well, they ROCK!

For some nice examples of power chords in action, take a look/listen at these videos.

Smells Like Teen Spirit -- This is an example of how power chords can change the world.

No Sleep Til Brooklyn -- Obviously dated, this is still a great example of how power chords and fist pumping go hand in hand.

Killing Me -- There's a lot more than just power chords going on here, but I wanted to include it because I just LOVE this band.

Start All Over -- Mock all you want, but pop music is always better with power chords.


*Quite often, the power chord is played by adding the higher octave of the root note, thus giving it three notes and full "chord" status.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

New LInk: Media Industries (and other stuff)

Forever on the prowl for new media analysis, I'm adding the blog of Assistant Professor Alisa Perren at Georgia State to the sidebar. Media Industries (and other stuff) won my heart as soon as I saw the blog post title "Watchmen v. Sex and the City".

Now, I do have an issue with her take in that post -- most industry insiders weren't surprised Sex and the City movie did well because it was a female-targetted movie, but because it was a TV show movie starring the original cast, and those tend to perform ... funkily. The accumulated archives create the effect, however, I require to recomend a blog: this is a person I would enjoy having a beer with.

Hoepfully I'll have a chance, in the pre-Leverage madness, to review her book. In the meantime, please check out Media industries (and other stuff).

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Waid Wednesdays #14: The Splash Page

Straight up, I will tell you that with the craptacularly unproductive week I have just had, I don't feel qualified today to give anyone advice on how to count to ten, much less how to do comics. Still, I will soldier on, however briefly.

The old school of thought was that having an eye-catching, dynamic cover was the single most important factor in comics production, because (duh) that's the first thing an impulse buyer sees. I still think there's lots of truth to that, but since our audience is now made up predominantly of hardcore, informed buyers who have already largely decided sight-unseen what they're gonna buy on Wednesdays, it's no longer a truism. Still a good rule of thumb (and a future blogpost), but not as critical as it was back in the day when your great-great grandfather and I used to buy comics for a nickel down at the trolley stop.

The second most important graphic element of a comic, I was taught, was Page One. This theory was likewise predicated on the impulse-buyer idea, that purchasers who were lured by the cover but were still on the fence could be sold with a strong initial page--a "splash page" (to use industry jargon) that was a single, bold image, almost a second cover. This is a guideline that I think outlived its usefulness as a hard-and-fast rule a long time back. In fact, I'm not totally sure it was ever really true. For one thing, I never met anyone who, if they needed additional selling past the cover, wouldn't just flip through the whole book. And for another thing, one of the very best-selling comics series of all time was Captain Marvel Adventures, and here's what for the entire decade of the 1940s you'd see every month on page one:


Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Or, to put it in contemporary terms, the most acclaimed comic of all time, Watchmen, starts every issue on a nine-panel grid. So my advice is, don't let anyone tell you that your first page has to be a splash page.

HOWEVER.

Your first page, like the first paragraph of a prose story or the first image on a movie screen, must be arresting. It doesn't absolutely have to be a full-page shot--but if it's not, it does absolutely have to make you want to turn the page to find out what happens next (or learn how you got to this interesting place). Really, truly, I can't say this strongly enough: if there's not something remarkable happening on that first page, something we've never seen before, then rethink it. Be honest with yourself: nothing on Earth is gonna want to make you wanna read past page one if page one is a sequence of a guy going to work in the morning. I don't care that the sequence might be integral to your story, I don't care that it's drawn nicely, I don't care that it sets up his situation. If we don't get to the end of the page and find out that the place he works makes suits out of human skin, there is nothing there to make you not wonder why you just spent four bucks on this. I'm overstating for emphasis--I'm not really saying your only option is to be shocking, and Chris Ware, for one, whose genius eclipses my meager talent like the moon eclipses my driveway, gets by just fine by drawing us in slowly and without sensationalism--but I'm serious when I say you cannot underestimate the patience of a potential reader, not with only about 22 pages to spend on your story.

Comics are not film. Don't think you have to begin with an establishing shot of the city, then slowly pan in on the deli where your main character works. Just start your damn story, and the faster you can get to the unfamiliar, the better.

Personally, I like the page one splash, particularly if it could serve as a second cover. I'm not adamant about it--there are plenty of comics I've written that start with slow, dramatic builds and sort of explode around page two or three--but there's something really satisfying to me about being able to grab you on page one. By way of example, here--thanks to artist Ron Garney, who nailed what I described perfectly, as he always does--is, of the eighty majillion page ones I've written, my hands-down favorite one ever, from Captain America #4, 1998:


That, if I do say so myself, is a damn good Page One.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Incident at Bedford Falls Bridge

John: Favorite movie? Casablanca.
Berg: Searching for Bobby Fischer.
Chris: You know mine, It's a Wonderful Life. And the other --
John: Gotta say, once you realize George Bailey dies in the middle, it's a totally different movie.
Chris: ... what?
John: It's a Wonderful Life is really a movie -- and I'm not the first person to say this -- about how a man's dreams are crushed by family expectations and middle class responsibilities. George Bailey's dreams of going to college and off to Europe are destroyed by the allegedly idyllic small town values that in fact trap him. Suffocate him.
Chris: ...
John: So, say Bailey jumped off that bridge and died. Say Clarence was there to guide him to heaven. What would heaven be for such a man? It would be validation. And that's what Clarence the Angel gives him, a tour meant to show him how significant he is. Or how significant, at least, he always secretly believed himself to be.
Chris: Hmm.
John: And then when he repents of his suicide, what does he get? A timeless eternity in his living room surrounded by his loved ones, with everyone he knows in the world coming through the door to tell him how amazing he is. The second half of It's a Wonderful Life makes much more sense if you assume that George Bailey committed suicide, and the rest is Bailey's heaven.
Chris: Is that more or less depressing than the original meaning?
John: I honestly don't know.

In the Comments -- your favorite movie. And no sniping. There's no accounting for what kicks your heart the right way.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Guitar Fridays: 1921 Martin 00-28

The 1921 Martin 00-28* is a 12 fret guitar produced by C.F. Martin and Company (so known because the body meets the neck at the 12th fret, whereas most acoustic guitars made today meet at the 14th). It is made of Brazilian Rosewood with a spruce top and a mahogany neck so thick it could stand in as a cricket bat (more on that later). The body, what is often referred to as parlor size, is smaller than most contemporary acoustic guitars.** In addition to the smaller body size, the lower bout (the hips, if you will) is only slightly larger than the upper bout (the chest), whereas most contemporary acoustics follow the Dreadnought design of larger and deeper bodies with a lower bout that is noticeably larger than the upper bout (the "Dreadnought" style, designed by Martin & Co. in the late 20s, early 30s, was named after the HMS Dreadnought , one of the largest battleships of its day).

There are a slough of vintage guitars out there that deserve attention, but I picked this specific model because I've played one before. It isn't very often I get a chance to play vintage instruments, let alone ones that sound and feel as good as this little beauty. So I was very pleasantly surprised to discover several years ago (2001, 2002?) that a family friend had found one in perfect condition.

Perfect. Condition.

When I was back in Indiana visiting family for Christmas, he told me he had just picked up the "21." It was that old cliche that's every guitar player's dream. The guitar had been hiding in some old lady's house for decades until it was discovered during a centennial attic cleaning (what was so fascinating about the find was that the guitar had been set up for slide so there was absolutely no fret wear). Since my friend was more of a collector and less of a player, he asked me and my brother (who also plays guitar and can run circles around me) to go over and put the instrument through its paces.

The smaller body size threw me for a bit of a loop. I don't know what I was expecting, but it was definitely something larger. But when I stared playing it, I noticed a couple things. The first was its density. It had a sense of substance that was surprising for such a small guitar. Not that it was heavy, just that it didn't have that feeling of fragility I was expecting from a smaller guitar. The other thing I noticed was how impossibly thick the neck was. The neck to body size ratio was such that it felt like the body should have been the size of a Volkswagen. Yet, somehow, the neck was terribly easy to navigate. Even the twisty Joe Chord*** was easy to throw down.

But the most amazing thing about this guitar was the way it sounded. It had a rich, full-bodied tone that sounded meaty without any obtrusive low end. It sounded so good that playing it was a nearly religious experience. My brother and I spent several hours passing it back and forth until my friend eventually had to kick us out of his house.

Fortunately, my brother had along his little Boss BR-8 so I have a recording of it. Obviously, the quality isn't top-notch, but you can still get an idea of the sounds this guitar produces. So if you can ever get your hands on one, even for just a few hours, do it. You won't be sorry. (The guitar in the youtube image isn't the Martin but a Gibson L-5--it was the only image of me playing a guitar that didn't involve embarrassing O faces.)





* I must confess that I'm not 100% sure about the model number. All I know for certain is that it was made in 1921 and, going from memory, I'd have to say it was a 00-21, 00-28, or 00-42. If I can ever get a hold of my friend, I'll find out for sure.

**If any musician monkeys out there can clarify if "parlor" is a specific style or just a general term used to describe small-bodied guitars, please let us know in comments.

*** It took me six years to get my fingers to play that first Badd11 chord that opens Joe Satriani's Always With Me, Always With You . Hence, it will always be known to me as the "Joe Chord."

For my fellow audio engineering geeks out there, my brother held an Audio Technica Dual Reference cardioid mic directly at the sound hole on an X axis. I dumped the mono track into Audacity where I fabricated a stereo effect by duplicating the track then offsetting the two by 3 millisconds and panning them hard left and right. Afterward I gave it some slight compression, a few minor EQ tweaks, and then finished it off with a splash of reverb.



Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Waid Wednesdays #13: You'd Better Be In There Somewhere

When I was working at a company called Crossgen back in 2001, I was stuck writing a book called Sigil. I didn’t start it; it was inherited. It was about a two-fisted, ex-military, blue-collar guy named Sam who traveled the galaxy and fought aliens. I forget why. I do remember it wasn’t a very compelling or convincing reason. I specifically remember that the alien empire he was up against had conquered interstellar travel but still had not invented the wheel, which is probably the single stupidest science-fiction conceit I’ve ever heard.

There was nothing about this setup that was particularly easy for me to wrap my head around. Sam was the kind of guy I couldn’t in real life relate to on any level, and he was fighting an eons-old humanoid empire that had somehow never seen a rock roll downhill. So finding my “in” was extra-challenging--but that’s the job. If you’re going to write a character convincingly, you have to find something in him, however small, that resonates with you.

After much studying and much drinking, I hit upon the one commonality Sam and I had: we were both vagabonds with no family ties. I got that, and something clicked. That suggested that there was some backstory with his parents. That there might be a reason he felt estranged from friends and family. That there might be some nugget of masked insecurity inside him that made him feel uncomfortable with close relationships. THAT, I got. (The book, though brilliantly drawn by Scot Eaton, was still a mediocre adventure, but I got it.)

Marvel Comics’ characters have been exceedingly popular since the 1960s because they’re especially relatable. The X-Men are about facing prejudice. The Hulk is about the power of anger and how to deal with it. The Fantastic Four is about family. Thor is about...

...about...

...this one stumped me for years. The Mighty Thor chronicles the ongoing, modern-day adventures of the Norse god of thunder, who divides his time between punching supervillains in Manhattan and fighting Frost Giants with a giant hammer to protect his home of Asgard and his cranky dad, Odin. I never got Thor. I have absolutely no interest in mythology, Thor’s trademark “thee-thou-thine” faux-Medieval dialogue feels corny to me, and Thor is traditionally about as bright as a week-old glowstick. And yet...and yet...he’s been one of comics’ mainstay heroes for nearly a half-century, which means there had to be something in the concept that the audience can identify with. I just couldn’t find it. And, worse, a few years back when I was doing a handful of Marvel books, I had to write Thor from time to time.

So I finally broke it down, and once I did, it was embarrassingly obvious:

Thor is about a rebellious son who can’t please his father no matter what he does.

Odin’s a jerk. He claims to have a very clear vision of Thor’s destiny, one that doesn’t involve wasting time with Earthlings, but like many fathers, he’s much better at articulating what Thor isn’t supposed to do than what he is supposed to do. There’s poor Thor, just trying to follow his heart, while Odin--time and again with all the compassion of a hurricane--punishes Thor for breaking specious rules that were never very clear to begin with.

THAT, I got. THAT, hundreds of thousands of teenage readers have been getting since 1962.

Characters, if they’re to have any longevity, have to speak to universal concerns. The Golden Age of pop culture is lousy with the tens of thousands of forgotten characters who weren’t really about anything definable. A few have adapted by becoming corporate icons--the Wonder Woman of 1942 is only barely recognizable as the safely sexless Wonder Woman of today--but, by and large, time is much kinder to the Spider-Mans of pop culture than it is the Betty Boops and Great Gildersleeves. Whether it’s a character you inherited or one of your own invention, you have to find in him or her the truths that will mean something to today’s audience and, hopefully, tomorrow’s.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Ninja Warrior..with Bikes!

by M A N

I'm in the process of decompressing from Wondercon, but I wanted to take the time share this nifty little video with my fellow monkeys. The game follows the same premise as Ninja Warrior (on the awesome G4 TV) except this time the contestants must complete an obstacle course while on a bike. This makes the chump bike tricks we used to do as kids look, well, pretty damn chumpy.





discovered via one of my favorite blogs: Stuff That Moves